


Goodnight Bear

by orphan_account



Category: Dan Howell - Fandom, Phil Lester - Fandom
Genre: Cutting, Depressed Phil Lester, Depression, M/M, Suicidal Phil, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-12-20 08:45:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11917320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Dan stopped talking to Phil and he can't take it anymore. He decides that he's done with the pain so he ends it all.





	Goodnight Bear

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE AND CUTTING

Phil's POV

I check my phone for the millionth time, hoping for a reply. He turned his read receipts off a few weeks ago so I can't see if he read my rants. I need him so much right now, he's the only one I love and trust.

Screw it. If he doesn't care, neither will I.

I sigh and roll over to find my prized pencil sharpener and trusty screwdriver. I undo the screw and take out the blade from the sharpener. I look down at my arm and the tears well up in my eyes.

I miss him. I miss him. I miss him.

I thought of every reason I loved him and cut every time I thought of one.

One for his smile, one for her laugh, one for his heart, and the list kept going. I lost track of how many cuts were there but I took pride in them.

Then the realization hit that he was my only friend because my other three left. One moved and lost contact, one I go to school with...he just avoids me, and the other one...I really don't know where she went.

I lost my only best friend.

I lost him.

I wrote him and all my other "friends" some notes as well as ones for my family. I sent him a simple text as well.

_P: Goodbye, thank you for being part of my life. Your name will forever be carved into my skin._

Getting no answer, I go downstairs and grab the sharpest knife I can find.

I see his texts and calls flooding in.

_Now_ he decides to care.

_P: You can't change my decision._

I sigh. That was too harsh. So, I send him another text.

_P: Hey...Bear...I love you._

I get a reply.

_D: I love you too...please don't do this_

The tears start coming back and I can tell he's crying too

_P: Do you actually love me?_

My heart races.

_D: No, not like that. In the friend way._

Of course.

_P: Ofc. Whoops I forgot. Anyways I gotta go. The knife is waiting. I'll see you later, always remember that I love you and I always will._

I'm actually sobbing now but I suck it up, but I can't hold them back when I remember a few months back when it was ok. I hear my phone buzz and snap back to reality.

_D: Please...don't leave me._

I shake off my feelings.

_P: I wish you were here to hug me._

There's a long pause

_D: ...me too_

I sigh.

_P: Goodbye._

I start lifting the knife when my phone buzzes

_D: Goodnight much love and sweet dreams_

For the last time.

I shoved the knife in and moved it around, crying from the pain.

"Goodnight...much love and sweet dreams...Bear" I whisper.

And then it all goes black.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for the feels.


End file.
